Friday, July 18, 2014

The Blame Game...

So if women entice and tempt men to the point of helplessness by what they wear... Can we women take it as an invitation to castrate men every time we catch you peeing on the roadside with your junk out in public?

That was my FB status update sometime back. While women poured in comments with how that would 'clean' up our cities, men commented that only 1-2% of the population are responsible for the rapes and molestation and that I should not judge all men by the actions of a few, because "real men" do not act that way!

You know what, I don't judge all men by the actions of the minority group, but I judge all men by their own actions. How many of you have stood up against the few who actually do the deed? In your everyday schedule, you come across men pinching women, making lewd gestures and comments at women... How many of you have actually stopped and taken action? You think that since you are not the one to do the deed, you are blameless? I say that you are to be blamed equally - because you don't do anything to stop it means you are encouraging others to carry on their deeds, even in the most public areas!

In the 31 years on my life, besides my brothers and husband, I have come across just one good Samaritan who did take action. It was about 10 years ago, but I still remember that day. I was returning from college on a crowded bus. The gentleman standing just behind me had a fight with few of the people in the crowd because he left about an inch gap between me and him and the crowd wanted him to close the gap to make the space. I still remember him telling them off by saying "I will not put my weight on a young girl. You people may find it normal, but I respect her too much." I had turned and said a word of thanks and he had replied, "You shouldn't have to thank me. Everyone should have that much respect for women". That man in a red t-shirt (I never got his name) showed by example that it is easy to stand up, that it is easy to show respect and that it is not okay to stand by.

There have been other situations in my life where people has just stood by and watched. Like the time 3 guys asked me for my hourly 'rate' when I was passing by a mosque. There have been guys passing by commenting on my figure. There have been old men wearing saffron try to touch me in a not so crowded metro. And then there have been situations where I gave the guys my exact opinion of them and then being judged by middle aged people for using 'slangs' - people who were standing by and watching, did nothing to intervene - judged me for standing up to guys asking me for my vital stats! But never again have I met a second person like the one in red tshirt on the bus. In fact I have had more women come stand by me when such things happen. So what does it say about the percentage of 'REAL MEN'.

So this is my call out to the so called "real men" - Stop blaming a small percentage of your counterparts. You are to be equally blamed unless you stand up and do the right thing. If you have the guts, stand up and fight. If you have the balls, you will do the right thing. Till then you are all as much of a pig and a coward as a molester or a rapist.

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